68 Things Dubai Expats Say


68 Things Dubai Expats Say

Dubai spoils you, it's a fact, and that's exactly what makes the sand pit hard to leave.

Dubai expats tend to forget the little things, sometimes act like spoilt kids and seem like the worst people ever when they go back home. But it's not our fault, we live a happy life. 

“You’ve changed” is something they hear on a regular basis, and they just can’t wait to go back to the cocoon of laziness that is Dubai. We work hard and place hard in Dubai, so let’s have a look at some common things Dubai expats say.

1. Wait, you lock your apartment when you go out back home? I don’t even own a key

2. All the dishes are dirty - time to call the cleaner

3. How can a business state their address as “on SZR”?

4. What do you mean you won’t drop me off in JBR on a Thursday night?

5. A taxi on a Friday 3am from Barasti? I’ll walk home.

6. Let’s go to Pure, their drink specials are 2 for 70AED!

7. Call me, I’m out of credit.

8. Ugh, I’m so broke… who fancies Saffron brunch on Friday?

9. There is NOTHING to do in this city!

10. Wow, it’s almost nice enough to sit outside

11. We ran out of water/cigarettes.. Shall we order?

12. It’s too hot outside, let’s go to the sun beds instead.

13. I will be late to work, I have to be here to open the door to the cleaners.

14.Come to mine in 5, I just ordered a bag of ice and 6 diet coke!  

15. My Uber will be 15 min.. Forget it, I’ll order a Careem!

16. Calling to get my clothes dry cleaned is so 2014.. There’s an app for that!

17. I need to learn Arabic this year.

18. Where is the guy that cleans sunglasses?

19. Pink limo or shall we stay classic with a black one?

20. I am literally so poor, I just went shopping.

21. Who’s got an Entertainer voucher?

22. Fancy dress? Let’s get costumes made in Satwa!

23. It’s 6pm, I’m going to bed! (post-brunch Friday, anyone?)

24. Looking for my car in Dubai Mall, will be home in 5 hours!

25. Yalla Habibi!

26. I’m totally running the Dubai Marathon...next year. 10K is good enough for now!

27. Why would I go to my building’s gym when I can pay to not go to another one?

28. December 15th, 12pm? Pool time!

29. Everyone at home will hate me for my tan at Christmas!

30. I wonder how much gold I can withdraw at this ATM!

31. Paying my bills? There’s an app for that!

32. Doing my own manicure? Have you lost your mind?

33. A hoover? I don’t need any, my cleaner company provides theirs.

34. I need a sick hat for the Dubai World Cup this year!

35. No I don’t have one dirham change!

36. I missed my exit on SZR.. See you next month guys!

37. Dubai Mall on a Friday? I would rather spend a day in the desert in July during Ramadan.

38. Ordering food on the phone is too much effort… There’s an app for that!

39. I just issued my rent cheque, let’s pray it doesn’t bounce!

40. Can’t be bothered to look for a spot, where is the valet parking?  

41. You need a custom made unicorn themed Iphone 4S cover? Dragon Mart will have it.

42. What a nice day at the beach! Let’s go ski now!

43. It’s 4am… Zataar W Zeit it is!

44. Who is the taxi drier talking to on his headset?

45. Too hot to go anywhere, fancy a drink on the balcony?

46. Your cinema doesn’t have 4 star cuisine and blankets?

47. I can’t afford MeatCo tonight. Wait, you have an Entertainer?

48. My workout this week was walking from the metro to the Dubai Mall, about 10 km.

49. Wait, is that a tanning salon!?

50. Yay it’s winter, let’s organise a yacht party!

68 Things Dubai Expats Say on the Reg
68 Things Dubai Expats Say on the Reg

51. You want to visit the Burj Al Arab without a reservation in one of its fancy restaurants? B*tch please.

52. Family is in town again, have to go watch the fountains.

53. Family is in town again, out with Arabian Adventures.

54. Family is in town again, left them on The Palm.

55. Wait, you know an actual Emirati? What are they like?

56. *knock knock* I ordered “dark chocolate” not “mushrooms”

57. I’ll only be here 1 year, 2 tops.

58. “Hi, I live in Cluster C, I need a taxi… Where am I going?...Cluster D”

59. Yea, but they don’t have an alcohol license. They have a pork license!? I’m driving.

60. After this weekend I’m getting healthy, going to bed early, no more drinking.

61. Wait, you’re not flying Emirates? I didn’t even know there was another terminal.

62. Your friends grandma arrives tomorrow? Can she grab me two bottles of vodka?

63. “Do you want to make that a double?”.....yea, go along now.

64. You went to AtMosphere? You idiot.

65. I really just want to go get lost in Deira one of these weekends.

66. I tried to buy a plant at Ibn Battuta Mall, it was 400 dirhams.

67. No, I ordered local water.

68. Let's go to Rugby 7s this year and still watch none of the rugby games!

68 Things Dubai Expats Say on the Reg
68 Things Dubai Expats Say on the Reg

Anything else you think Dubai expats say? Let us know in the comments and don't forget to share!